18. MARY IN THE JUDGMENT HALL OF CAIAPHAS
The Blessed Virgin, united in constant, interior compassion with Jesus, knew and experienced in her soul all that happened to Him. She suffered everything with Him in spiritual contemplation, and like Him she was absorbed in continual prayer for His executioners. But at the same time, her mother-heart cried uninterruptedly to God that He might not suffer these crimes to be enacted, that He might ward off these sufferings from her Most Blessed Son, and she irresistibly longed to be near her poor, outraged Jesus. When then John, after the frightful cry: “He is guilty of death!” left the court of Caiaphas and went to her at Lazarus’s in Jerusalem, not far from the corner gate; and when, by his account of the terrible sufferings of her Son, he confirmed what she already well knew from interior contemplation, she ardently desired to be conducted together with Magdalen (who was almost crazed from grief), and some others of the holy women, to where she might be near her suffering Jesus. John, who had left the presence of His Divine Master only to console her who was next to Jesus with him, accompanied the Blessed Virgin when led by the holy women from the house. Magdalen, wringing her hands, staggered with the others along the moonlit streets, which were alive with people returning to their homes. The holy women were veiled. But their little party, closely clinging to one another, their occasional sobs and expressions of grief, which could not be restrained, drew upon them the notice of the passers-by, many of whom were Jesus’ enemies; and the bitter, abusive words which they heard uttered against the Lord added to their pain. The most afflicted Mother suffered in constant, interior contemplation the torments of Jesus, which, however, like all other things, she quietly kept in her heart; for, like Him, she suffered with Him in silence. The holy women supported her in their arms. When passing under an arched gateway of the inner city, through which their way led, they were met by some well-disposed people returning from Caiaphas’s judgment hall and lamenting the scenes they had witnessed. They approached the holy women and, recognizing the Mother of Jesus, paused a moment to salute her with heartfelt compassion: “O thou most unhappy Mother! Thou most afflicted Mother! O thou most distressed Mother of the Holy One of Israel!” Mary thanked them earnestly, and the holy women with hurried steps continued their sorrowful way.
As they drew near to Caiaphas’, the route led to the side opposite the entrance where there was only one surrounding wall, while on the side of the entrance itself, it ran through two courts. Here a fresh and bitter sorrow was in store for the Mother of Jesus and her companions. They had to pass a high, level place upon which, under a light awning, the Cross of Christ was being constructed by torchlight. The enemies of Jesus had already, as soon as Judas went out to betray Him, commanded the Cross to be prepared for Him just as soon as He should be seized, for then Pilate would have no cause for delay. They thought they would deliver the Lord very early to him for sentence of death; they did not expect it to be so long delayed. The Romans had already prepared the crosses for the two robbers. The workmen, full of chagrin at being obliged to labour during the night, uttered horrible curses and abusive epithets which, with every stroke of the hammer, pierced the heart of the most afflicted Mother. Still she prayed for those blind wretches who, cursing and swearing, were putting together the instrument for their own redemption, and the cruel martyrdom of her Son.
When now they reached the outer court of the house, Mary, in the midst of the holy women and accompanied by John, withdrew into a corner under the gateway leading into the inner court. Her soul, filled with inexpressible sufferings, was with Jesus. She sighed for the door to be opened, and hoped, through John’s intervention, to be allowed admittance. She felt that this door alone separated her from her Son who, at the second crowing of the cock, was to be led out of the house and into the prison below. At last the door opened and Peter, weeping bitterly, his head covered and his hands outstretched, rushed to meet the crowd issuing forth. The glare of the torches, added to the light shed by the moon, enabled him at once to recognize John and the Blessed Virgin. It seemed to him that conscience, which the glance of the Son had roused and terrified, stood before him in the person of the Mother. Oh, how the soul of poor Peter quivered when Mary accosted him with: “O Simon, what about my Son, what about Jesus?” Unable to speak or to support the glance of Mary’s eyes, Peter turned away wringing his hands. But Mary would not desist. She approached him and said in a voice full of emotion: “O Simon, son of Cephas, thou answerest me not?” Thereupon in the deepest woe, Peter exclaimed: “O Mother, speak not to me! Thy Son is suffering cruelly. Speak not to me! They have condemned Him to death, and I have shamefully denied Him thrice!” And when John drew near to speak to him, Peter, like one crazed by grief, hurried out of the court and fled from the city. He paused not until he reached that cave on Mount Olivet upon whose stones were impressed the marks of Jesus’ hands while He prayed. In that same cave our first father Adam did penance, for it was here that he first reached the curse-laden earth.
The Blessed Virgin, in compassion for Jesus in this new pain, that of being denied by the disciple who had been the first to acknowledge Him the Son of the Living God, at these words of Peter sank down upon the stone pavement upon which she was standing by the pillar of the gateway. The marks of her hand or foot remained impressed upon the stone, which is still in existence, though I do not now remember where I have seen it. Most of the crowd had dispersed after Jesus was imprisoned, and the gate of the court was still standing open. Rising from where she had fallen and longing to be nearer her beloved Son, John conducted the Blessed Virgin and the holy women to the front of the Lord’s prison. Mary was indeed with Jesus in spirit and knew all that was happening to Him, and He too was with her. But this most faithful Mother wished to hear with her bodily ears the sighs of her Son. She could in her present position hear both the sighs of Jesus and the insults heaped upon Him. The little group could not here remain long unobserved. Magdalen was too greatly agitated to conquer the vehemence of her grief, and though the Blessed Virgin by a special grace appeared wonderfully dignified and venerable in her exterior manifestation of her exceedingly great suffering, yet even while going this short distance she was obliged to listen to words of bitter import, such as: “Is not this the Galilean’s Mother? Her Son will certainly be crucified, though not before the festival, unless, indeed He is the greatest of criminals.” The Blessed Virgin turned and, guided by the Spirit that enlightened her interiorly, went to the fireplace in the atrium where only a few of the rabble were still standing. Her companions followed in speechless grief. In this place of horror, where Jesus had declared that He was the Son of God and where the brood of Satan had cried out: “He is guilty of death,” the most afflicted Mother’s anguish was so great that she appeared more like a dying than a living person. John and the holy women led her away from the spot. The lookers-on became silent, as if stupefied. The effect produced by Mary’s presence was what might be caused by a pure spirit passing through Hell.
The little party proceeded along a way that ran behind the house, and passed that mournful spot upon which the Cross was being prepared. As it was found difficult to pronounce sentence upon Jesus, so was it hard to get ready His Cross. The workmen were obliged frequently to bring fresh wood, because this or that piece proved a misfit or broke under their hands. It was in this way that the various kinds of wood were employed that God willed to be used. I have had many visions on this subject, and I have seen the angels hindering the labourers in their work until they recommenced and finished it as God would have it done. But as I do not clearly remember the several circumstances, I shall pass them over.
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